MrLittlePants' Little Life

Peace out, blogger

2005-10-21T09:41:00.000-04:00

I've moved. Please visit!

Alice Waters and Me

2005-10-18T09:06:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I threw caution to the wind and watched almost all of Alice Waters's demo in the amphitheatre. I know that my boss might not approve, but it's not every day that Alice Waters is speaking down the hall, and I wasn't about to miss it.

She's really a lovely woman, with a very strong message about organic, seasonal, local and sustainable agriculture. She stood in the demo kitchen surrounded by beautiful produce from the Union Square Greenmarket, and she made it a point to explain that everything around her was New York produce, and that it was fabulous. She thinks we have an unnecessary dependence on California produce here, and that the only advantage over there is a slightly longer warm season.

Alice opened Chez Panisse in 1971, before there was much produce to be had in Berkeley. She would literally go foraging on the side of the road, and she'd buy ducks in Chinatown. Eventually, her demand created a supply, and 34 years later, she runs one of the best restaurants in the country. She explained that she has two master chefs, and each one is paid full time but works only three days a week in the kitchen (spending two additional days at the farmers' market and working the menu). This is expensive, she says, but it makes a huge difference in the quality of the food.

We tasted some delicious treats. A farmer from New Jersey was there offering us several cheeses and some raw milk that had come from the cow that morning. It tasted strange and good. It's illegal to sell raw milk in this country, he said, but not illegal to drink it or give it away. And he said we shouldn't fear raw milk, but we should fear pasteurized milk. Anyway, we don't have much choice there.

Inspired by Alice, I'll do my best to stick to local, seasonal ingredients. This isn't always affordable, but I'll try to make weekly trips to the Greenmarket.

Last night I made my butternut squash risotto for Bianca. It wasn't as good as the first time, and it's because I didn't cook the squash enough in the first round. Make sure you taste it before you take it out of the skillet in step 1!

Best things, Part I: salad

2005-10-15T09:05:00.000-04:00

For those days when I have nothing to write about (i.e. the day after I make a mediocre dinner), I'll try to report instead on some piece of equipment or a particular ingredient that I think rules and doesn't drool. Things that make my life easier or more fun, and things that I'm pretty sure are the best in their class.

We'll start with an old favorite, something I have tried and failed to live without at different points in the last few years: the Oxo salad spinner. I used to sell these babies at the Kitchen Wizard. In fact, they were so easy to sell that we hardly ever had them in stock. I'd put one on the counter, demonstrate how it worked for anyone who would listen, and then it would be gone. Pump the handle, and press the little brake if you want it to stop (left alone, it will spin for a couple minutes). The handle can be fastened down for easy storage.

I can't make a salad without a spinner. Lettuce should be a little moist, but it should not be wet. Whether you've taken the 2 minutes necessary to make your own vinaigrette or you've spent $3.59 on a bottle of Newman's Own, you don't want to dilute it with a bunch of water. And I don't want to waste 18 paper towels getting my lettuce dry (not to mention all the available counter space).

A lot of Oxo products are crap, but this isn't one of them. The spinner is usually about $25 (or you can get the mini version for around $17). If you need an excuse to go buy one, here's my personal favorite.

Quote of the day

2005-10-13T16:02:00.000-04:00

Let's face it, everybody wants to live in one of my homes.

-Martha Stewart to the New York Times, October 13.

First date jitters

2005-10-12T09:21:00.000-04:00

On Monday night I had my first friend from work over for dinner. I was quite nervous to ask her because I know her to be an excellent, trained cook. We have lunch together every day and talk mostly about food, and it's clear that she's passionate about it.

Since the beginning of my garlic days a few weeks ago, I have been making an excellent chicken stew that's a twist on James Beard's famous Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic. Sabena told me how much she enjoys this dish, and I told her about a new recipe I'd been enjoying. She started to ask me regularly for the recipe, but I kept forgetting to bring it in. On Monday, she asked again. Since I was planning on making the dish that night anyway, I asked her to join me. She was thrilled with the invitation.

We left together after work and headed to the wine store (Warehouse Wines & Spirits--the best), where we got a bottle of cold Alsatian white for the apéritif, a red Bordeaux for the stew, and a couple extra bottles of white Rhône that were on sale. She only let me buy one of them, and then she made a quick stop at Whole Foods for ice cream, which gave me time to tidy the apartment for this unexpected company.

The dinner turned out marvelously. She made the side dish: green beans tossed with olive oil, fresh thyme, and lemon zest, baked in a 400°F oven until brown and tender. I handled the main dish, the recipe for which is below. She was a wonderful dinner guest, full of laughter and interesting stories. Her father was in the service. Though she is Punjabi, she was born in New York and has lived all over the world. I have no idea how old she is, but she's a joy to dine with and I look forward to being invited to her apartment for a meal.

Autumn Chicken with Many Cloves of Garlic

Ingredients (for 2)
Grapeseed, corn, or canola oil
4 chicken thighs (I've used bone-on and skin-on, and boneless and skinless)
Many cloves of garlic
Diced prosciutto (optional but lovely)
1/2 cup white wine
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup sugar
2 star anise
1 stick cinnamon
1 teaspoon Chinese hot pepper
A few slices of fresh ginger (there is no excuse for powdered)

Procedure
1. Heat two tablespoons of oil over medium heat in a skillet that can be covered.
2. Add the chicken. Brown it lightly on both sides (just a few minutes per side) and remove to a plate lined with paper towels.
3. If the pan is full of fat and liquid, get rid of a bit. It should be wet but not flooded. Turn the flame to medium low and add the garlic. A few minutes later, add the prosciutto.
4. After about 15 minutes (you can make a cup of white rice during this time if you like), add the white wine, soy sauce, 1 cup of water and the sugar. When the sugar dissolves, add the spices and the chicken. Bring the mixture to a simmer and cover it.
5. After about 15 minutes, turn the chicken over. The cooked side should have a beautiful brown glaze it. It needs another 10 minutes or so. If it looks too saucy, leave the cover off and turn up the heat. If it looks too dry, add some water or wine.
6. When the chicken is done (it's ok to cut into a thick piece just to peek--it shouldn't be bloody or pink), remove and discard the star anise and cinnamon stick. Serve and enjoy.

The other night, we served the chicken over the green beans. Sabena has worked as a plater in fancy restaurants, so it looked beautiful. If I had it to do again, though, it would have been nice to taste the green beans on their own. And we didn't use rice because I had a beautiful loaf of bread from work. You'll definitely want one or the other to sop up your delicious sauce.

We had ice cream for dessert and drank quite a bit of wine, and Sabena left after 10 pm. n8 and I can't wait to do it again!

Nuts for butternut!

2005-10-10T11:07:00.000-04:00

I made a most delicious butternut squash risotto last night from a recipe in Cooks Illustrated. I've realized in the last few months that I have trouble following recipes. It's not that I can't follow the directions (my job, after all, is to edit recipes), it's that I either lack the diligence to follow all the steps to the letter, or I'm missing some exotic or expensive ingredient, or I decide to make additions or substitutions (thinking that I can improve the recipe before I've even tried it!). I have to get out of this habit, because I know that following good recipes is the best way to learn how to cook. It's the closest home cooks can get to the coveted apprenticeships that make so many great chefs. So, with this posting, I vow to find good recipes and follow them at least once before I start making changes.

Since the butternut squash risotto recipe is not available online unless you're a Cooks Illustrated subscriber, I'm going to do you all a big favor by putting a quick, smaller version of it below (theirs is for 8 servings, I reduced it by about 25% because my squash was a bit small). While we were eating it last night, I told n8 that it was the best dinner I'd ever made.

Ingredients
Olive oil
1 butternut squash (about 1.5 pounds), peeled, seeded and chopped into 1/2" dice (reserve the fibers and seeds)
Salt and pepper
3 cups chicken broth
1 cup water
4 tablespoons butter
1 medium onion, cut very finely
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 1/2 cups arborio rice
1 cup of dry white wine
3/4 cup of grated Parmesan cheese
Minced fresh sage

Procedure
1. Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a large skillet over medium high heat, and add the chopped squash in one layer. Cook it until brown, adding the salt and pepper after about 5 minutes. It should take about 10 minutes for it to be brown and tender. Put it in a bowl and set it aside.
2. In the meantime, heat the chicken broth and water in a saucepan that you can cover.
3. Add the squash fibers and seeds to the empty skillet. Cook them for about five minutes, until brown. Add them to the broth and simmer until further notice.
4. Heat 3 tablespoons of the butter in the empty skillet over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic, and sauté until brown, about 5 minutes. Add the rice, cook it for 5 minutes or until it begins to turn translucent, and add the wine.
6. In the meantime, strain the broth over a bowl. Press on the fibers and seeds with a wooden spoon to get all the liquid out, and discard. Put the strained broth back in the saucepan and keep it hot over low heat.
7. Once the wine is absorbed, add half of the squash.
8. Stir frequently until the wine is almost absorbed, then add a cup of the hot broth. Stir it constantly until almost absorbed, and repeat a few times until the rice is al dente.
9. Turn off the heat, add the remaining butter, the Parmesan cheese, the remaining squash, and the sage.

I added some cooked spinach to the final mix, as well as some toasted pine nuts (don't worry--this was sanctioned by Cooks Illustrated. I wasn't cheating!).

The brilliance of this recipe lies in the addition of the squash in two different steps. Squash gets cloyingly sweet if it's cooked too long, as well as mushy. Adding half of it early and half of it late results in a great combination of flavors and textures. Do yourself a favor and cook up a batch of this on some chilly night.

squeak squeak!

2005-10-08T17:30:00.000-04:00

Today was a very exciting day. n8 actually chased a mouse around the apartment and caught it! He had apparently been seeing it all week. I saw it for the first time last night, running around, and I kind of sensed its presence for the last few days (since it was crapping on my kitchen counter!).

We decided that he had come in under the radiator (since that's where he went out last night). Armed with that knowledge, I did a real number back there with duct tape this afternoon. Unfortunately for Immodest Mouse, he was partying in here all day while we were at Ikea, and he didn't have time to leave. While I was making lunch, he started darting around the living room, and n8 caught him with a sticky trap. I was completely oblivious to this whole scene. Like Martha Stewart, I decided to focus on my grilled cheese instead.

Quote of the day

2005-10-06T09:15:00.000-04:00

You just don't realize what done happened until the person next to you hits you and says, 'Well, you done did it.'

-Jacquelyn Sherman, Hurrican Katrina victim who won $1.6 million at a slot machine.

Baby I'm a star (anise)

2005-10-03T20:53:00.000-04:00

In the last two days, I've eaten an inordinate amount of garlic and star anise, and I couldn't be more pleased with the results. Like most people, as the weather gets chilly at night, I enjoy eating heavier and more comforting food. I didn't realize what role star anise played in this until I cooked with it myself. The second I dropped it in my stew last night, the whole apartment smelled like my childhood home in winter. Tonight I made a delicious stir fry, continuing the theme of outrageous amounts of garlic.

Ingredients (for 2 servings):
For the stirfry
Oil (peanut, grapeseed, or corn)
At least 20 garlic cloves
1/4 cup diced prosciutto (optional)
1 star anise
1 red bell pepper (or orange, or whatever, coarsely chopped)
Fresh ginger, grated (as much as you want)
A few splashes of vermouth
A similar amount of soy sauce
A few drops of pepper sauce (like Tabasco)
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 chicken breast (optional, cut in bite-sized chunks)
Watercress (optional)

For the rice
1 cup liquid (I used half vermouth, half chicken broth)
1/2 cup white or basmati rice

Procedure:
1. Heat the oil over medium heat in a large skillet and add the garlic cloves.
2. Once the garlic begins to soften, add the prosciutto and star anise. While these are cooking, make the rice in the standard way.
3. Once the rice is on, add the pepper to the skillet, followed by the ginger. Turn the heat up to high.
4. Pour in the vermouth, soy sauce, and pepper sauce. Add the sugar and stir with a wooden spoon.
5. Once the peppers are soft, incorporate the chicken. It should take about 5 minutes to cook through.
6. When the chicken is just about done, add the cooked rice (and something green if you like, such as watercress). Remove the star anise and discard.
7. Serve, garnished with a lemon wedge.

The finished product should have a glazed, cheap Chinese food look (from the sugar), and it should taste distinctly salty, sweet, and spicy. Enjoy!

The joy of fish cubes

2005-09-29T20:47:00.000-04:00

This is one of my favorite things to make these days, and I'm eternally grateful to FreshDirect for providing me with a cheap, constant supply of fish cubes. It's quick, easy and delicious.

Ingredients (serves 2):
Fresh ginger (a big, fat piece), grated
4 or 5 garlic cloves, minced
3 or 4 tablespoons soy sauce
Juice of 1/2 lemon
2 tablespoons chunky or smooth peanut butter
A few drops of pepper sauce (like Tabasco)
A few tablespoons of white wine, vermouth or pineapple juice

1/2 pound similarly-sized fish cubes (or a fillet cut into cubes, or two fillets from different fish cut into cubes)

For the rice:
1/2 cup white or basmati rice
1 cup water (or a mix of water, chicken broth, pineapple juice, sake, or whatever)

Special equipment:
2 skewers, soaked for at least 20 minutes in water
A broiler (salamander as we call it at the FCI)

1. Mix together the ginger, garlic, soy sauce, lemon juice, peanut butter, and pepper sauce. It should be thick but wet and not gummy. Add enough white wine or pineapple juice to make it saucy.
2. Put all of the fish cubes in the mixture and leave them there for at least an hour.
3. Brush some oil on your broiler pan and set the oven to 'broil'.
4. Make the rice in the standard way (one part rice to two parts liquid, bring it to a boil, cover, put the heat as low as you can and don't touch).
5. Skew the cubes, shaking off excess marinade.
6. When the rice is nearing completion, stick the skewers under the broiler. They should be done after about 5 minutes.
8. Heat up the remaining marinade in a saucepan, adding wine or juice if needed.
7. Serve them over the rice. Garnish with a few basil leaves and a lemon wedge, or some watercress, or with nothing at all (although it's nice to have something green on the plate). Drizzle some of your lovely sauce either on the cubes or the rice.

You can make this more or less garlicky, spicy or gingery. I've been really into ginger in the last 6 months or so, so I tend to use a ridiculous amount, just because I can. The cost of all of these ingredients together is about $5, so be decadent however you choose.

I went through a similar phase with nutmeg a couple years ago, and now the mere thought of that spice makes me squirm. I'll try to control myself this time.

Garlicky weekend fun

2005-09-26T09:17:00.000-04:00

After reading an article last week in the Times about buying plastic containers of pre-peeled garlic, I decided to give it a try. Garlic at whole foods is overpriced anyway, so it turned out to be a better deal to get the peeled stuff. I made practically the same dish two nights in a row, loosely based on one of Mark Bittman's recipes. Both times it was delicious and easy. I couldn't get my hands on any cheap, fresh basil, so I used some leftover pesto. Also, tomatoes were looking pretty sad at Whole Foods (except for the $4 per pound heirlooms), so I got canned, peeled ones.

ingredients:
olive oil
peeled garlic cloves
salt
1/2 pound of thin pasta (for 2 servings)
a few tomatoes, chopped
lots of basil or pesto
salt and pepper
parmesan cheese (optional)

Put at least a cup of olive oil in a skillet over low-medium heat, and leave a truckload of peeled garlic cloves in it, turning them occasionally, until they turn soft and brown (at least 30 minutes, but less than an hour, or they'll turn mushy). Add salt liberally. In the meantime, make the pasta. The first night I used spaghetti, and the second night I used farfalle. I prefer the spaghetti, but either way is good.

In a warm serving bowl (I made it warm by leaving an inch of boiling water in it for a few minutes), combine the tomatoes and basil, and mash them together. Add the garlic and the oil it was cooked in, and continue to mash. When the pasta is done, toss it all together. Add a fat pinch of salt and a heavy grinding of pepper, and serve. I added parmesan cheese once it was plated. The second night, I added chicken.

You'll definitely want to serve bread with this, because the juices are delicious. I didn't have any FCI bread this weekend, so we had to resort to a pathetic whole foods wonder bread-esque baguette. Never again.

Anyway, I'm excited for this garlic business. I have to find a place down in Chinatown to get it on the cheap. okadots, let me know if you see it on your Grand Street fish runs. I love to cook with garlic, but it's a mess and a pain to peel, especially in such large quantities.

Last night we saw Flightplan with Jodie Foster. It ruled.

Harvest moon

2005-09-22T09:09:00.000-04:00

n8 and I had dinner at Oka's swank LES pad last night. She made delicious salmon (which she pan fried wrapped in aluminum foil, both for the containment of flavor and ease of cleanup). I had been craving salmon all day, and Oka managed to cook it all the way through without losing any of the moist salmony goodness.

After dinner we retired to her enormous, comfortable roof. We had a gorgeous view of downtown all the way up to the Chrysler building. The moon was so beautiful that I texted Jeannie and told her to look. When we talked later I learned that she recently fractured her poor little Korean elbow while skateboarding in her office.

Last night was also the season premiere of Lost. If any of my, I don't know, 4 readers has never seen this show, get thee to netflix and rent the first season. I can say without hesitation that it's the most engaging and well-acted show I've ever watched.

Freak-a-leek

2005-09-19T23:04:00.000-04:00

I made the braised leeks and was sorely disappointed. I don't know what anyone wants with a whole damn leek on their plate. It tasted ok, but they're a pain to cut and chew. n8's trying to sell me on how good they were. They weren't awful, and they certainly looked pretty on the plate (with sautéed chicken breast and tomatoes), but I won't be making them again anytime soon.

My grandma and her sister arrived more than two hours late, so it was an abrupt dinner. Despite my mother's endorsement, I don't find Sid to be all that nice. That's probably because she told me that my leeks didn't taste like anything (which is true), but who the hell says that when someone you're meeting for the first time makes you dinner?

Parties parties parties

2005-09-17T16:23:00.000-04:00

n8 and I went to three parties on Saturday, which was just about all we did outside of the apartment. In the afternoon, we went to Jersey City with n8's boss for a party at their coworker's house. Yes: house. When I go to the suburbs and see places like that, I get a little crazy. The house was amazing. Fireplaces and high ceilings and that old-timey felt wallpaper. Laundry rooms and pantries and floor-to-ceiling medicine cabinets and linen closets. A backyard, a garage, a front porch, a roofdeck. They've been in it for three years and working constantly. They still have a long way to go, but it's a beautiful place.

So, for about 20 minutes, I was a little dizzy from the house tour and started flirting with the idea of leaving the city. Then I quickly changed my mind when I realized that there is nothing more impressive to me than a really beautiful Manhattan apartment. When people have very little space to work with and they make it more than liveable, that impresses me to no end. I think that once we can afford to buy something and we have 600 square feet all to ourselves, I'll be happy. I mean, I'm happy now, but I would like one more closet and a dishwasher.

After the Jersey party, we headed home for a rest. (Incidentally, it's super easy to get to JC from downtown. The path train is at 6th ave and 9th st, and it's only $1.50! Cheaper than the subway!) At around 10:30, we went upstairs to our neighbor's roofdeck for a couple drinks. There weren't many people there by the time we left, but it was fun. From there, we went to a friend's birthday party at apt on West 13th. We tried going there a few months ago when I had friends from England in town (it was their idea, and I always encourage guests to have their own agendas). Naturally, they wouldn't let us in, so I couldn't believe someone was reckless enough to have a birthday party here. There was a group of 6 people ahead of us in line, and the queeny little bitch doorfag told them that, without a reservation, entry was impossible. I braced myself for the worst, but he let us right in! Maybe it was because there were just two of us, maybe it was my Agnès B top. Either way I couldn't help feeling special.

We stayed at apt until about 1:30. Outside of partying, I did a lot of reading. I finished Jeffrey Steingarten's "It Must Have Been Something I Ate," which I really enjoyed. I'm waiting for his other book at the library, because I want to have read both of them before I meet him, which could be any day! When I finished that, I moved on to Ruth Reichl's "Comfort Me With Apples." I enjoyed her as well, though I don't find her nearly as witty as Steingarten or MFK Fisher. She's got a Berkeley mentality, and I got a little tired of hearing about her life in the Channing Way commune.

My grandmother and her sister, the mysterious Aunt Sid, are staying with us tonight. I have no recollection of Sid, though my mother claims I met her when I was little. I'm planning on making braised leeks and scallops, but that might change.

Drinking all day all weekend long

2005-09-12T07:57:00.000-04:00

My weekend got off to a quiet start on Friday. I thought I'd be going out with Jonathan (my older brother), but he got lost when came through the Holland Tunnel, didn't get to his friend's apartment until late, and they didn't go out till after 1. So, luckily, I missed that action. I did, however, meet up with them at about 1 pm on Sunday at a bar on the Upper West Side called Jake's Dilemma. We drank $7 pitchers of beer for about 3 hours. I was with Jon, his friend Charlie who lives in Queens and works at my Whole Foods, and their friend Georgia from Australia. From there, we drunkenly ambled down to the Sheep Meadow in Central Park and cut up in the grass until we got hungry. For dinner we met n8 and went to Cedar on University Place (a place we had formerly been boycotting because we thought it was cheap but in fact it's kind of expensive). We had delicious burgers and were home by 8, early enough to have a rest before going out. (My 'rest' was spent cleaning up the mess I made earlier in the day. Have you ever made candied walnuts? It's no small chore. Details below).

That night we went to a party at Emily Miller's new apartment on West 87th Street. She and her roommate just moved into a sizeable two-bedroom on the 25th floor. It's a nice view, but I'm terrified that her adorable puppy is going to jump over the ledge.

Now for the picnic...

Yesterday was Emily B's Prospect Park Potluck Picnic. Emily frequently has parties such as these, sending everyone into a tizzy about what to make. But we always have fun and enjoy each other's food, so I can't complain. This time I made spicy candied walnuts. They were delicious but a real pain to clean up. And I burned myself on the hot syrup. That stuff is like molten lava (until it dries, then it's like a rock). I also made the summer rice pilaf that I made for dinner with Bianca and Joe a few weeks ago (involving corn, shallots and mint). I made some adjustments to Martha's recipe, though. I found it too shalloty last time, so I left the shallots in the pan for an extra 10 minutes or so. People seemed to enjoy it.

The party itself was tons of fun. Emily has such a nice variety of friends and family at all of her get-togethers. There were about 20 of us in all, including Jake (who I haven't seen in ages) and his girlfriend, Bridget, who I'd never met. Uncle Ted was there, as were Emily's parents, her grandma, and a bunch of French people.

We sat around in the hot late-summer sun for a good 4 hours, drinking wine and eating everything. My candied walnuts were a huge hit, especially with Emily's gran, who couldn't get enough of them. Smart lady. We finally got home at about 6, and I immediately fell asleep and napped until after 8.

Emily's girlfriend's friend Jess, who works for my food idol Jeffrey Steingarten's wife, informed me that Mr. Steingarten just moved to the building either right next door to or right across the street from mine. That means that a) he will be in my block association, and b) I will get to meet him and become an important part of his life. Ok, well that's probably not true, but I'm on a mission. Stay tuned.

This is bound to be a crazy day at work because Chef Pépin is going to be in. This is his office, so I can't be here all week. I don't know exactly where they're going to put me. :\ I'm not complaining, though, because I'm lucky to have an office at all.

Nano!

2005-09-08T08:54:00.000-04:00

I wonder if I'll get in trouble with Apple for posting this picture on my weblog. I kind of doubt it. So, this is the iPod I've been waiting for ever since n8than got his Shuffle in May. I have had my big clunking 10-gig iPod for nearly three years. The plan was to keep it until it broke. Unfortunately, the little bastard works as well as it did three years ago. I have seen so many newer iPods break in those three years--I don't know what Apple was doing right that they are now doing wrong. Anyway, I'm not worried because, as n8than pointed out, these babies use flash memory instead of a hard drive, so there is less chance of internal meltdowns (Also, I used the Amex, which doubles my warranty). I ordered the white, 4-gig one. I originally wanted the black one, but I decided that: a) iPods are white, and b) the black one would probably always look dirty. I can almost see grubby fingerprints on it at right.

Now I have to wait a few days for it to be delivered, but I don't know when the Apple store will have them in stock. Seems like they should have an unlimited supply of new products, but as of this morning they don't even have anything in the window.

Otherwise it's been an uneventful week. Last night I tried to make a special dinner but was not pleased with the result. I took a brioche home from work and stuffed it with scallops, caramelized onions, spinach and parmesan cheese and then baked it for a while. It was tasty, but I didn't consider how dry it would be. If I make something similar again I'll make some kind of creamy sauce to put on it once it comes out of the oven.

Two nights ago I made a delicious dinner with FreshDirect's fish cubes. They sell these little cubes of fish, which I guess are left over after they cut fillets and steaks. They're only $6 a pound, and it's good fish (tuna, salmon, swordfish, halibut, etc.) I doused them in a ton of ginger, garlic, basil, peanut butter, shochu, soy sauce and chili sauce, then I put them on skewers and broiled them for about 5 minutes. It came out really well.

Yesterday's staff lunch at the FCI was the best yet--they cooked Korean! (I think--can you verify, Jeannie?) Spicy tofu meatballs, Korean barbecued steak, delicious greens, sesame noodles, etc. My colleague Brendan and I tore it up. Speaking of Brendan, it turns out that he and n8than were in French class together at Virginia Tech. It doesn't get much more random than that.

Take ya shirt off!

2005-09-06T07:49:00.000-04:00

n8than and I just got back from our Labor Day weekend beerfest in Chapel Hill, NC, where we sang Petey Pablo all weekend. I had never been to visit Molly before, and now I can't wait to go back! Here's a rundown of all of our fun activities:

On Friday night Molly picked us up at about 10 pm in her cute little red tuna can of a sports car that we crammed into over and over for three days. We went out that night to a bar called the Library on Franklin Street with Molly's friends Katie and Mark. In typical Molly fashion, she was down with the bouncer, so none of us had to pay. I stuck to beer that night while n8than enjoyed shots of tequila and his very first Jäger Bomb. We stayed out until two, went home, ate goat cheese and hummus, then slept till 11.

The next morning, hungover and feeling lazy, we cruised over to Katie's apartment to lounge by the pool for the afternoon. It was a beautiful, sunny day. We were joined at the pool by a young Swedish couple reading American gossip magazines. We called them the Katürter Frürters and made fun of them for the rest of the weekend.

From there, we went to buy liquor at the ABC store, and I bought five pounds of Jif Extra Crunchy peanut butter (because I can't find the 40 oz. size anywhere up north anymore, not even in Pittsburgh.) That night Molly made her famous "Lasagna on a Stick," which was a real marvel of culinary engineering. Then we got all gussied up (see photo at right) and went out again to the Library and also to a really classy establishment called Players. Molly, of course, knew a bartender there, so we didn't pay for anything.

We slept in late again the next morning, made a big breakfast, and then watched three hours of the third season of Dallas (which n8than and I had been waiting for for months, ever since we finished season two in the spring!). Once we finally rallied ourselves a bit, n8than put on his pink visor and we went to Molly's friend's house for a barbeque. This guy had a duck who we had fun chasing around and feeding ground beef to. We played lots of bachelor games at his house like foosball, lawn darts, and air hockey.

From there, we went home to meet another old friend of Molly's, and the four of us went to Cold Stone Creamery. It was my first trip there, and I'll have to remember to get the small next time. I ordered a small but was talked into getting the medium ("It's only 30 cents more and it's twice as big!"). Stupidly, I was sold, and I threw away more than half of the ice cream. Who the hell can eat that much ice cream? It was a pint! That night, we went out with Katie to a bar called He's Not Here. We drank beer from giant cups called Blue Cups and went home at around 1 since we were all tired.

On Monday, we had a quick Mexican lunch then went to the airport. I miss Molly already! When we got home last night, we watched the final five episodes of Lost, Season 1. I had nightmares all night, and I won't be able to concentrate until the season premiere on September 21!

'Rogies!

2005-08-30T19:35:00.000-04:00

I went to D'Agostino to get some produce for dinner tonight, and I have rarely gotten so depressed in a grocery store. Their selection, at the University Place location anyway, is abominable. The one up by Uncle Teddy on Broadway might as well have a different name. This one is disgusting. I only go in there when I can't handle the Whole Foods crowd or when I just need one or two things. I'd so much rather it be a shady bodega. Every piece of produce is dry, wrinkled and sad. After staring at it for 10 minutes without selecting anything, I went looking for Mrs. T's Pierogies which, amazingly, were in stock for just $2.99 (the same price they are in Pittsburgh!). Happy day!

Work has been relatively uneventful this week since both of my bosses were out yesterday and today. I finally finished working on my recipes this morning, and I spent the afternoon preparing to send out jury letters for the final. Every time the FCI has a final exam, they persuade chefs from around the city to be judges (they get champagne, car service, and a gift certificate to L'École). They get pretty famous people in there, like Jean-Georges, Tom Colicchio, Rocco, etc. Pastry and bread finals get experts in those fields. Anyway, it's going to be my job to find out which people we want to invite and then to send them invitations. I'm happy to have a bit of administrative work, because it makes me feel like I'm really doing something.

Otherwise, I've found myself quite annoyed at the dress code at the FCI and in general, and the ways in which it applies to men and women. Has anyone noticed that women get away with just about anything--as long as they don't look like whores--and men can't get away without a tie? Now, I personally enjoy wearing a tie and getting dressed up, so it's not like I'm lazy or I mind that much. But women can come to work in shorts and tee-shirts, and nobody notices (I don't mean like a Disney World tee-shirt, I mean a short-sleeved shirt). How is that fair? It's not fair. The problem is that there is no standard for business dress for women. We can't exactly force girls to wear dresses or suits--or can we? If we force men to wear ties, even on stifling August todays like today, why aren't women expected to be just as uncomfortable? Not that dresses and skirts are uncomfortable. I wish I could wear a skirt to work.

Anyway, I just think it's bullshit that there is only one way for a man to dress in business attire, and it involves a tie. Women can wear whatever the hell they please.

Weekend fun!

2005-08-28T14:03:00.000-04:00

I had a great time this weekend traveling all over four of the five boroughs and eating tons of tomatoes. On Friday night, n8than and I went to Yonkers for a sleepover party with Emily and Sara. It was so refreshing. New York was hot and disgusting and crowded. Getting on the Hudson Line from Grand Central provided a much needed escape. We were greeted with delicious apéritifs: avocado, saucisson sec, sharp cheddar cheese and wine. For dinner we enjoyed a fabulous plate of tomatoes with basil leaves and zuccanoes, all with veggies from Mr. Brouwer's garden. For dessert, Emily made excellent chocolate brownies in a rose cake pan. We all went to bed stuffed and, despite CC the cat's constant wailing throughout the night, we slept great.

In the morning we had freshly baked muffins and then headed off to Jones Beach. We had some trouble with lifeguards not allowing us to swim outside the stupid green flags, but we walked all the way over the gay beach and enjoyed some swimming there, far away from the lifeguards. The water was a little rough (and full of jellyfish!), but it was warm for the first time all summer.

Last night was Jeannie's surprise bat mitzvah party on her roof in Williamsburg (from which we had a commanding view of Manhattan). It was cool, breezy and beautiful outside, and we stayed until past one. Today was to have been the FCI picnic, but it was cancelled because of the forecast. Instead, we wrestled with NYU students at K-Mart to get some iron-on patches (long story) and did laundry.

Ahoy!

2005-08-23T22:30:00.000-04:00

I just got back from a sailing trip with Daily Candy out to the Statue of Liberty and back again. I'm not sure who arranged it or what it was for, but there was an open bar and we had a great time. It's a beautiful night--cool enough for a jacket--and we had fabulous views. One of the cocktail waitresses on the boat was the sister of Jasmine Kurjakovic, a girl I grew up with in Pittsburgh. The waitress, Adina, and I went to the same middle, elementary and high schools, so we had a lot of shit to talk. I was proud of myself for not getting sick on the boat, but I'm chugging club soda right now and hoping I don't hurl. I don't feel so hot all of a sudden.

My second day at work was another success. A fat, buttery one. I ate all day. At 10 am my boss brought me a fresh poppy seed bagel. Then at noon we had lunch. At about 2, she brought me brioche, then an hour later I found a pile of croissants and pains au chocolat on my desk. It's pretty outrageous, the amount of food people eat. But I walk to and from work, and I may eventually take advantage of my discount to the gym. Then again I have a long way to go before I have to worry.

Tangelos in August!

2005-08-21T17:47:00.000-04:00

Anyone who can get to Whole Foods Market should get there within the next few days to get some delicious mineola tangelos. I didn't think those were ever available at this time of year. Shows what I know because I just ate one and it was delicious!

Weekend adventures

2005-08-21T16:29:00.000-04:00

This has been a fun and productive weekend! Friday was my last day in my old job, which was a little sad but nearly as sad I thought it would be. The girls got me a bottle of champagne and we had an office toast, a very nice way to send me off to happy hour. A few tears were shed, but none by me, and I was more than happy to see the last of the phone. I spent about half the day on the phone talking to my favorite vendors, like the great girls at Valerie Wilson Travel. They helped me so many times this year, and they were always so pleasant (they ought to be when they charge $50 per ticket issued!).

Friday evening was spent at Splash having cocktail after cocktail. Most of the people who were invited didn't come, but the five of us boys had a gay, vodka-soaked blast. We stayed until after 10 and were even able to dance for a while! I was terrified of a hangover on Saturday, but I drank enough water that I avoided it entirely.

Saturday was a lazy day spent lying around the house watching Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte with Bette Davis and Olivia de Havilland. I have been trying to see that movie since Chris first told me about it years ago. It finally came out on dvd a couple of weeks ago. I enjoyed it, but not as much as I enjoyed What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, which is, in many ways, incredibly similar. My favorite line was when Jewel Mayhew fingered the ruffle on her sleeve and said, "Ruined finery...that's all I have left." I intend to say that every time I open my underwear drawer from now on. Otherwise the plot was so complicated that I could hardly keep up. At least it had a clear ending, though, unlike Baby Jane. Bette Davis is so good at playing crazy old women who stalk around beautiful houses terrorizing people.

Today I went shopping with Uncle Teddy in SoHo for some work shirts. I found two great shirts and a pair of pants at Daffy's (in addition to the two cute sweater vests I found there yesterday). If it weren't for Daffy's I'd have to go naked to work. I can almost always find something there, especially now that the Fall line is in.

I'll post again tomorrow after my first day at the FCI!

Non, rien de rien, non...

2005-08-19T08:43:00.000-04:00

Today is my last day in PR. I was feeling pretty sad yesterday, especially when an exec kept telling me that if I stayed I would have been able to travel to Paris for a new client (I don't believe that at all, by the way. They wouldn't send me to Georgia last winter, and they certainly wouldn't hire someone new just so I could go to Paris for a couple days. Just more empty promises, which is what this firm seems to be built on). I'm not feeling sad now, though, because I went into The FCI (they're very particular about calling it The FCI, and not just FCI) yesterday and learned about my job and benefits. There are some really cool ones, among them:

Free health insurance
Up to $750 a year of dental, whatever it may be (whitening would be included!)
Two free dinners for two with wine per year at L'Ecole
Free massage therapy once or twice a year
Free lunch every day
TransitChek, if I decide it's too cold to walk
401(k) with match
After 5 years, I'll get 18 days vacation per year

And some other little things too. Also, my job is better than I thought. They hired a former French teacher to run the library and handle much of the administrative tasks (like exams, etc.). I'll be focusing on editing and tightening recipes, and I'll be sitting in Jacques Pépin's office since he's hardly ever there. I'll be floating for the next year or so until there's more office space (they are in the process of expanding to the two floors above).

So, all in all, I made the right decision. Everyone at The FCI seems to have been there for more than 10 years, and they all say it's a fantastic place to work. Here goes nothin'!

The Bruni Digest

2005-08-18T10:25:00.000-04:00

This is a public service announcement. Your life will be markedly better if you read Frank Bruni's restaurant reviews in the NY Times on Wednesdays, and then the Bruni Digest on Thursdays, in which some chick in Brooklyn makes fun of every review. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll print, you'll read over and over.

Die, MTA, die!

2005-08-18T08:52:00.000-04:00

I just sent the following complaint to MTA online:

I work at the southeast corner of 3rd Ave and 42nd St, and I have problems crossing the street there almost every day because cars stop in the crosswalk. Today was the worst incident of that, and it involved a giant New York City bus (one of the express, coach-looking buses). The license plate number was L-85651 (I think the id # on the bus was 3012, but I only had time to take a picture of the license plate). It was on Third Avenue, so far forward during the red light that the nose was on 42nd Street. The crosswalk was obliterated, and passengers were walking in moving traffic on 42nd to get around him. I walked to his window and made a motion for him to move back (there was nobody behind him in the bus lane--it would have been easy). Instead of reversing, he shot me a mean look and
gave me the middle finger.

Please let me know how you are going to handle this.

I hate people who stop in the crosswalk. Under n8than's influence, I've started punching and kicking cars (in fact I punched the windshield of this bus, but I left that part out of my complaint). Normally I'll give buses a break (better one bus than 30 cars), but this bus was empty, so he had no excuse to break the law!

I'm so glad I only have to get through that intersection once more! I'm sure it gets nasty in SoHo too, but it's hard to imagine it being any worse.

Ethnic food

2005-08-17T18:39:00.000-04:00

The New York Post reports today that a couple eating at a "fancy" Jersey Shore restaurant noticed that their receipt said Jew Couple. When they showed it to the manager, she said there was nothing derogatory about it, and eventually asked them to leave since they were making a scene. My favorite part of the Post's story is the following quote from the manager: "We use it as a form of identity," she said. She would not elaborate on what the restaurant does when there is more than one couple assumed to be Jewish at the restaurant.

When I worked at restaurants without table numbers (sometimes even with table numbers), we would almost always give nicknames to tables. I don't remember ever using ethnic or religious words (though I bet we used "black" since there were so few blacks eating at the crêperie), but I'm sure we said "fat people," "dirty people," "ugly people," etc. But we would never have printed it on the receipt! That's outrageous. And apparently this guy's credit card statement even says "Jew Couple" on it! That's hard to believe, but the Post says it's true.

Today I ate lunch at Osteria Laguna with the boss, who wanted to take me out once more before I finish up on Friday. He was very nice and told me how much he regrets the whole situation. He also said he feels powerless and that that frustrates him. It was a cute restaurant with good food, although it was a bit noisy (plus my boss if half deaf, which didn't help matters). I ate asparagus-stuffed tortelli in a creamy tomato sauce.

Tonight I am making scallops but I don't know what to do with them. Stupid FreshDirect gave me a full pound when I ordered only a half pound.

And the winner is...

2005-08-16T19:35:00.000-04:00

We interviewed four people today, two of them in person. The first girl was very sweet and cute, but a bit too shy. I don't think she'd be able to handle the dark days when the phone rings nonstop and the CEO is there. I also don't think she'd really fit in in general. Marian the Librarian.The second guy was great. Surprisingly old (mid-30s), and quite accomplished. But listen to this, he's from Suriname, and he's had so many jobs because he had to pay his way through school (and he kept losing jobs because of his visa status). He speaks Dutch and Spanish, and he impressed everybody. But we gave it to him straight: this is an entry level job with little hope of a promotion before a year or two passes. He seemed okay with that, but he said he'd have to think it over as well.

Next we did the phone interviews. The first girl was great, and I think we'll offer her the job. She went to a good school, spent a year in Madrid, has good internship experience, and she was very well spoken. It's hard to impress people on the phone, but she did it. I took the call in the CEO's office. "So, Ms. So and So, you want to work in PR, do you?" And the last girl we interviewed was a lunatic. And a ditz. She prefaced every question with, "So, this is a REALLY silly question but..." On top of that, she's in LA. Honey, why bother? We picked you out of hundreds, so you clearly have what it takes to get a job. Get your ass to New York!

I asked the good one to come in on Monday to meet everybody (everybody except me, that is, cause I'll have peaced out by then!).

Pray for Madonna! Eat the poor!

2005-08-16T15:55:00.000-04:00

Madonna had a serious accident today while riding her horse at her country estate, according to CNN. She broke some ribs, a hand, her collarbone, her conical breasts, etc. And this was during her birthday celebration! This supports my theory that people should stay off those beasts. Especially weak old divas.

In other bad news, some poor people in Virginia were waiting in line to buy old laptops for $50. When the doors opened, they stampeded! The CNN story is full of juicy quotes, like this one from a young man who bought an iBook: "I took my chair here and I threw it over my shoulder and I went, 'Bam,"' the 20-year-old said nonchalantly, his eyes glued to the screen of his new iBook, as he tapped away on the keyboard at a testing station.

And some other woman waited in line so long that she wet her pants rather than give up her place in line. If people are this crazy and poor, and they will step on old ladies to get in front of them, what exactly are they going to do with a computer anyway?

Is it true?

2005-08-16T09:48:00.000-04:00

Page 6 reports today that Eminem is engaging in heavy bashing of Mariah Carey on his current tour. I must have missed this whole scandal when it broke a few years back. At the time, I wasn't into Eminem, and Mariah and I were taking a break. Did these two really have an affair? Obviously something happened because they're both talking a lot of trash. Carey's manager says that Eminem's mean-spiritedness is scaring away fans, as proven by his declining record and ticket sales. Hiss! I guess he plays some voicemails from Mariah (she says they're fake!) and then pretends to vomit into a toilet, right before performing "Puke."

Zuni and Song

2005-08-15T08:45:00.000-04:00

n8than and I ate at Zuni Cafe on Market Street Saturday night, and despite a few bugaboos it was a pleasant experience. It's an oddly laid out restaurant, with small rooms all over the place both upstairs and downstairs, and several tables that are practically in the kitchen. The host initially led us to a table that was about 2 feet from the bread slicing station. It's not normally my style to complain, but we had reservations and this is an expensive restaurant. The waiter took us upstairs to another weird table with the seats next to each other, and I didn't much feel like staring at other people all night so I complained again. Finally we got a sexy table in a tiny room where we could face each other and get down to business.

First we ordered the cheapest bottle of wine, a Baux de Provence or something, from Aix, for $24. It was delicious, although we became too drunk to finish it. For an appetizer we had the deep fried squash blossom. It tasted like extremely upscale bar food, especially as it was scattered with onion rings, but I could've eaten a few of those and called it a meal. My main course was a grilled bass with thin discs of cucumber and whole basil leaves, accompanied by a few fat slices of tomato. It was all very good, though the bass was slightly rubbery. n8than, being a strange meat queen, went for the rabbit, which he devoured. We shared a piece of flourless chocolate cake for dessert and left.

My flight home yesterday was atrocious, and I don't think I will fly Song again. Yes, it's cheap, and I enjoy the unique in-flight entertainment system (especially the trivia game!), but the staff is not professional. We took off an hour late, and getting to New York we hit some awful storms. The lightning outside the plane was beautiful, terrifying, and constant. The pilot announced that no flights were landing at JFK, and that we had "about 30 minutes of fuel left." He said he didn't know where we would end up landing, and that he'd keep us posted. Perfect! So we fly around for a while, with the lightning and heavy rain outside scaring the shit out of everybody. Finally he announces that we can land at JFK (at this point I checked our location and we were half way to England--I guess we had more than 30 minutes worth of gas after all).

Once we landed, we sat on the runway for almost an hour. Somebody got up to use the bathroom, and the bitchy head stewardess announces that we are not allowed to get up, and that if she sees anyone else stand or use the bathroom she will order the pilot to stop the plane. I finally got home at about 11 pm, and it was still pouring rain outside. I suppose I am lucky to have gotten home at all, and that most of it wasn't Song's fault. I just didn't like the tone taken by the stewardess or cavalier attitude of the pilot.

The good news is that I apparently missed the hottest days of the summer, and it's cool out now!

Brrr...San Francisco adventures

2005-08-13T20:19:00.000-04:00

I'm in San Francisco and it feels like it's about to snow. I don't remember it being this cold last time I was here in August, but it's really in the 50s outside. It's a nice break from New York, though, where okadots says it's "offensively hot."

We went into this beautiful mid-century modern furniture store today on Market or Mission or some street like that, and I totally busted this guy shoplifting. The store was in two rooms, and there was only one person working there who couldn't see the second room at all. I walked back there and made eye contact with the guy just as he was stuffing something into his bag, and he looked at me and kind of laughed. I immediately went and told on him, and then we fled the scene. Oh! I also saw some hipster couple sitting on their stoop in the Mission district, and the guy was totally exposed. I'm serious, he was wearing shorts and his equipment was hanging out for all the world to see. That's not the first time I've seen that in Northern California. I'm tempted to put some kind of picture here, but I don't want to get in trouble.

On the way home we went into this gay thrift store called Out of the Closet, and I bought a tight little "slut cut" (as n8than called it) JPG sailor tee-shirt for $3.99. Tonight we're eating at Zuni Cafe, and tomorrow morning I head back to the pits of hell that I like to call home.

Attack!

2005-08-11T19:22:00.000-04:00

I saw a praying mantis in my office today. I went to get the Wall Street Journal and he was just sitting there, you know, praying. Scared the shit out me! AG put him in a cup and took him to Tudor City. God knows how he got in there. I hadn't seen one in about 10 years, so I figured they were extinct!

Die, luxury denim, die.

2005-08-11T11:01:00.000-04:00

I've been saying for months that the denim market is just like the real estate market in New York, and that both are heading for a crash. Slate finally confirms my suspicions with an illuminating article today about the rise and imminent fall of denim. I became disturbed a few months ago in Atrium on Broadway when Uncle Teddy and I saw a pair of Evisu jeans (some of the frumpiest, cheesiest pants I've ever seen), for $600. Talk about sticker shock. You can buy a Calvin Klein suit for $600, or fly to Europe in July. That's when I said to myself, "this cannot last." I can't wait to watch it come crashing down. Only the good will survive, and I hope their prices go back to normal. Diesel jeans used to seem expensive at $140. Now that would be a clearance price. I've never spent more than $80 on jeans, and I doubt I ever will.

So cute!

2005-08-10T18:38:00.000-04:00

My favorite coworker just invited me to her October wedding, and I am so touched I could cry. I honestly had no idea I'd be invited, because I thought it was just family and friends. She and her fiancé are having it on a boat off the coast of Long Island, and the invitation is appropriately nautical:
I'm waiting for N8than to get home before I pull the message out of the bottle. We're totally going. This is the third wedding we've been invited to this October (only two will actually take place), which is a lot considering I've never been to a wedding in my life. Except for my parents but that was a small affair at my grandparents' house. At the end of October we're going to Waleska's marital extravaganza in Puerto Rico.

Advice for Pataki

2005-08-10T11:22:00.000-04:00

The governor of Arkansas has started rewarding employees who lose weight, quit smoking, or do something else healthy with time off.

"Someone calls in sick and you say, why are you sick?" the governor said. "Well, 'I'm 50 pounds overweight and don't get off my rear end and I'm sick' - that's ridiculous! You get rewarded for being sick and the poor guy who is slugging away exercising gets to go to work."

So true! I learned in psychology that positive reinforcement is the best way to modify behavior, so I commend Governor Huckabee, both on his weight loss and his reward program.

Not so sure

2005-08-10T10:52:00.000-04:00

Does anyone else think it's a little crazy that Lenny Kravitz is looking at the Duke Semans mansion on 5th avenue? This is almost without a doubt the most beautiful and expensive house in New York City--can Lenny afford it? I don't even remember his last hit. All I know is that he sucks and always has. He's apparently trying to sell his current apartment for $12.95 million, so this would be quite a step up. If he moves in here and turns it into some rocky hipster bullshit sex pad, I'll have words for him. Millionaires Row is just not for rock stars. There are no clubs, no hot bars or cool restaurants. Just the damn museum across the street and bunch of stuffy old rich people like the CEO of my company. Stay below Houston where you belong, Lenny.

When I was young me and my mama had beef, seventeen years old kicked out on the streets...

2005-08-09T12:22:00.000-04:00

I may not have many years of education, but I do posses street smarts, common sense and a keen sense of myself and my abilities. I grew up with a single mother who worked extremely hard to make sure I never went without, she also provided me with an excellent work ethic.

woof woof

2005-08-09T11:29:00.000-04:00

Hello, I am an individual seeking employment. My communications skills are excellent, and I am a people person and an animal lover, i myself have 3 wonderful dogs. I am open to any proposals that may be offered at any present time that will allow for my skills to be made evident.

Aaaahhh!

2005-08-09T10:23:00.000-04:00

I am a hardworking and hungry individual who really sees this as something I can sink my teeth into.

Countdown

2005-08-09T08:46:00.000-04:00

8 days to go here. Everyone is so upset. I spent all day yesterday listening to various people here trying to convince me to stay. "Look at your career," they said, "MrLittlePants, baby, use your head." I'm going back and forth:
Sometimes I get so excited for FCI that I can't wait to get out of here, and other times I feel like I'm breaking up with a good lover. N8than and I discussed that last night, how getting out of a job has so much in common with getting out of a relationship. You think about all the good times you had, all the laughs, all the things you had planned together. I thought about the holiday dinner (which I'll probably be invited to anyway, if they even have it, because let's face it, I run that show). But then I think about the holiday dinner at FCI, and how it will probably be so much more fun anyway.

Are you kidding me?

2005-08-08T15:55:00.000-04:00

hi my name is roman.
i am interested in your available admin asst position.
i am even more interested in the field of Public
Relations.
my enthusiasm would be ecstatic. i am seriously
considering getting into the PR field and this would
be a great opportunity for mutual benefits. i see how
you work, and you get a new indispensable addition to
your team of professionals.

Oooh! Let's hire this guy!

2005-08-08T14:03:00.000-04:00

I would like to express my interest in your advertising firm for the available position of Public Relations Administrative Assistant as described on your agency's web site.

Go ahead, make my day

2005-08-08T13:40:00.000-04:00

The job applications have already started pouring in. Here's a nice nugget from the most recent one:

*I routinely have made purchases for daily needs (food, liquor and beer).

*All phone calls for the owner and investors go through me and are put into priority order.

Though liquor might be a daily need here, I don't think it really needs to be on your resume. Next!

posted

2005-08-08T13:20:00.000-04:00

The job has been posted.

Take a chance you stupid...

2005-08-08T08:33:00.000-04:00

Down to the wire here. I sent my final round of questions to FCI first thing this morning, and then I spoke with my boss when I got to the office. He's making a last ditch plea with the CEO this morning to hire a new person and promote me. I told him that, if CEO isn't interested, then it's not worth it. We can't force it on him. He says that if I do leave, he's putting AG on the phones, a woman who has been working for the company for twenty years but has absolutely no responsibilities except to sit in her beautiful office checking her AOL mail and generally relaxing.
I don't think that's gonna fly, but it would be hilarious. It's almost worth it to quit just to think that she would at least be stuck up here for a while, trying to make personal calls and facing constant interruption.

My decision, much to the dismay of certain people, is this: If I am guaranteed a promotion and a new workspace here, I will stay. If they cannot guarantee that by this afternoon, I'm giving my two weeks.

Oh my god!

2005-08-05T16:57:00.000-04:00

Somebody in my office got fired today! They had been threatening it for months, but today he was given 30 days to clear out.

quoi faire

2005-08-05T16:18:00.000-04:00

I'm all in a tizzy here. I don't know what to do. I just had a long chat with mom, who convinced me not to take it and then told me why I absolutely must take it. "I'm a woman of strong opinions that change frequently," she said.
I just told my boss that I have an offer, and he gave the following newsflash: the CEO has not yet given approval to hire somebody! The controller has, but the CEO says it's a bad idea. Unbelievable! If that doesn't change, the decision is clear.

In the meantime, I'll take poppy's advice and make some kind of list where I can compare the two jobs. I just learned from FCI that I can't take free classes until I've been there for two years. That's weak, but not if I decide to stay there for a while.

Swept away again

2005-08-04T19:00:00.000-04:00

Well, I just finished my interview at the French Culinary Institute. Before I tell you about it, can I relate a little story about my next door neighbor, the queen bitch of all time? She's awful, not that I've ever actually talked to her, cause she's such a freak. Anyway, yesterday some Chinese restaurant slid menus under everyone's door and generally littered all over the building. I took the menu under my door and threw it away, but I noticed that our neighbor didn't pick hers up. Today I get home and her menu is still there. Then when I got back from my interview, her menu was in front of our door! I couldn't believe it. So I slid it back in front of her door. When I got inside, though, I remembered some old person telling me once to "choose my battles," so I went out there, picked it up, and threw it away.

Idiots

2005-08-04T14:18:00.000-04:00

The people at BusinessWire and AT&T have both annoyed me today. Why does it fall on me to catch every mistake? Can't these people who take our money check their work? We put out a news release today over BusinessWire, which I never liked and now like even less. Normally we use PR Newswire, a far superior service. Unfortunately, certain stodgy clients insist on using the former (see photo of client at right). Today they decided that our headline was too long so they put the last four words of it under the date. Why would anyone do that and not mention it? If the headline is too long, you call the client and alert them before you go making some retarded alteration.

Then we had a 12:30 conference call that I set up for Boss with AT+T. Leave it to AT+T to set it for 12:30 Pacific time. I'm sure I said Eastern when I reserved it, and even if I didn't, shouldn't that be the default time zone? That's probably even the default time zone in California. Anyway I'm calling from a 212 number so it should be obvious.

By the way, I tried writing AT+T with ampersands, but blogger exploded.

Freaky

2005-08-04T11:09:00.000-04:00

I'm writing a job posting for the person who will replace me, and it feels like I'm writing my own obituary for some reason. I'll link to it once it's up!

2005-08-04T08:47:00.000-04:00

The memo singing my praises and requesting that we hire a new receptionist was approved by LA last night, and the money guy is going to call this morning to discuss "next steps." This does not mean I am cancelling my FCI interview today at 6 pm, but it is good news. Boss called me from his office this morning and begged me to hang in there. I'll find out what these so-called next steps are and keep you posted!

The scramble

2005-08-03T14:15:00.000-04:00

The plot has really thickened here. I went down to Wall Street for my job interview at Wall Street Webcasting. What a dump. Seriously, it was the dumpiest office I've ever seen:
There was garbage on the floor, the lights were dim, and people were casual. I saw bare feet in that place. The interview itself went well though. There are two positions open, one for an office person and one for a conference manager. The woman--who looked like Sade--had me marked as applying for the office job, but then she changed her mind after I told her about my extensive conference experience. She wanted me to meet the woman I'd be working with, but she was too busy:

Anyway, she wants me to go back in soon, but I don't know how excited I'd be to work there. I don't ask for much, but please pick up your garbage from the floor.

When I got back, the boss pulled me into his office and said "September 1." He said the memo is going out today, we're posting the job online, and that by September 1 I will definitely be away from the front desk. I'm waiting for a call back from the controller in LA. Of course while I was gone the boss told everyone and he said they all freaked out. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm the only person here who actually has to show up every day. Not just because I answer the phone, but because I'm in charge of a ton of annoying things that nobody else can do.

I'm still going to my interview tomorrow, and I'll continue to apply for jobs. In fact, I'd accept an offer if it were tempting enough. I'd also be happy to stay here though. To be continued....

Busted

2005-08-03T11:25:00.000-04:00

I just told my boss that I was going to lunch downtown and he asked if I was really going to interview. I told him yes, and he flipped out
and said he was going to push to make some changes. I told him he'd been saying that for months, and that even though I like working here, I hate answering the phones and being lied to. So, he told me I could use him as a reference and that he wants me to keep him up to date.

Another interview!

2005-08-02T18:14:00.000-04:00

I have an interview for the lazy bastard job tomorrow! I think I'll disguise it as a lunch date. Now I have to learn something about this company...

Jobs for lazy bastards

2005-08-02T17:18:00.000-04:00

I just applied for this crazy event planning job because the post was so funny. It's fun to apply to jobs from work when you're mad at your company. The only person here who knows is our intern. He's leaving in a couple days anyway and he understand why I'm so annoyed.

Daydrinking

2005-07-20T19:01:00.000-04:00

The most exciting news of the month is that Nathan and I finally got our website up and running. Check it out!

Damn Jefferson Market

2005-07-20T18:45:00.000-04:00

I don't buy books anymore, because I don't have any room for them and I don't really think it's all that cool to have a big, overflowing bookshelf. I'm not cutting up or dissing anyone with a mini-library, and in fact I like the look of books, but keeping every book you've ever read doesn't impress me. Not to mention it's a major pain on moving day:

The point here is that I'm not going to buy Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, although I am a fan: I don't have room for that book in our apartment. It takes up at least 20 square feet. I requested the book from the library two days ago, and yesterday I get an email saying it's available. Today I go, and it's not there. I had a feeling it was too good to be true. The woman assured me over and over that it's a library error. I kept saying, "I know." Because, hello, there's no other possible source of error. I was holding the printed email saying it was available for pick-up. There's no need for convincing.

And it's annoying to get shafted by the library, because there's nothing you can do about it. You can't demand anything free. You can't really even get an attitude. The fact of the matter is that I am too cheap--in terms of space and money--to buy the book.

I can breathe again

2005-06-13T19:03:00.000-04:00

I fully expected a guilty verdict, but surely that's because I didn't want to be too disappointed. If Michael were found guilty, years and years of my life would have been tainted. Now that he's officially innocent, the haters can shut their nasty mouths.

The most ridiculous thing about this trial for me was listening to so many people make the same old comments about Michael's appearance and plastic surgery. That highlights the ridiculousness of the whole thing. It's like people wanted him to be found guilty because his nose can be detached. Are you fucking kidding me? What's the issue here? We're talking about kids being molested, and all people can think about is Michael's face. As I watched the Jacksons enter the courtroom today, an intern from my office said, "All I want to know is, why did they do that to their faces?" I stayed quiet. Is that really all you want to know?

Needless to say I'm thrilled and relieved. I walked home singing and dancing with my iPod. The best part of the afternoon was watching Tom Sneddon's news conference. SO awkward! He pretty much had no comment on anything. I'm not surprised. I think I'll look up his email address and call him a loser right now.

A suit at last!

2005-04-23T19:13:00.000-04:00

After approximately two years of searching, I finally bought a suit today at Daffy's on 5th Avenue. The last suit I bought was from Benetton in 2003, and recently I decided that it no longer fits, much to Nathan's dismay. I can still wear the pants, which I had lengthened a few months ago, but the jacket is a bit short in the arms, and they can't be altered. The scary thing is, I had no problem with the suit last summer, and that leads me to believe that I'm still growing!

I don't know why it's so hard for me, though, especially in New York. I see tall, skinny queens all over the place, and all we want are clothes with long inseams and arms. But I go to Benetton and everything is shaped like a cardboard box. I'll occasionally find some random sweater that's slim and long--but why are the only consistently well-sized clothes way out of my price range? I can go to Filene's Basement and try on a Prada blazer, in a 46R, and it fits me like a glove. And that's the R. Can you imagine the L? There's imitation designer clothing in every store, but they always double the torso and halve the arms. What gives? Give us skinny clothes and we'll aspire to skinniness. No wonder men get so frumpy in their 30s--they're allowed to. Is there anyone out there besides Hedi Slimane and the Kaiser who force men to check themselves?

Other news today is that we finally got the Barbados photos online.

Last night I went to a bar called Caviar and Banana with Meaghan and Brenda. Cute place--though I'm sure it's pricey. It had fabulous lighting, like in the movie Birth. Very soft, and diffused by wicker shades. Tonight we're off to Beauty Bar with Emily and the Toulousbians

Nathan's shitting a brick over how good my marinade smells. I have some chicken in the fridge bathing in soy sauce, ginger, garlic, honey, and pineapple juice. I'm going to whip up a sexy little stirfry tonight before we go out.

That's kind of gay

2005-04-06T10:11:00.000-04:00

Nathan has me beat on the weblog, so I'm going to try to catch up a little bit. I have to agree with him about the pathetic displays of homosexuality last night from Ketan, the Canadian-English-Indian queen. First, he declared that New York's crazy Footloose-esque dancing laws were so "American." Then he tried hitting on a nice straight friend who was already probably maxed out on gayness. (Also, even if a straight guy were to swing, it wouldn't be for Ketan!). Gross.

The New York Times writes today that New Yorkers have embraced FreshDirect, "even while its ubiquitous trucks, piles of discarded boxes and high prices have irritated others." Wtf? High prices? I was so annoyed that I wrote a letter! Where are these people shopping that's cheaper? FD can be bad from time to time, but they're aren't evil like Netflix. Prices are good. And complain as people may about the boxes, they certainly have helped scores of people move.

We're off to dee islands tomorrow and I can't wait to get tan and blond! And to have a vacation. I haven't taken anything more than a 3-day weekend since I started this job in September. I'm so excited.

Jealous blog

2005-03-28T20:30:00.000-05:00

Now that Nathan is posting, I feel like I should be, too. So while he is sitting on the couch reading a cookbook, asking if we have cilantro, I'll post. He's studying up for our Thursday dinner guest, Cia. He decided that, since all of the attendees will be thin, he can make a light meal. Scallops and melon or something. We love having guests for dinner. It's really the best way to socialize in New York for these reasons:

It obliges you to clean your apartment, especially the bathroom.
It gives an opportunity to cook from a recipe (which usually involves obtaining a new kitchen gadget and a new spice).
It's so much more fun and intimate than a restaurant. Don't get me wrong: I live and die for restaurants. But cooking is fun too, and cooking for friends is so Ina Garten.

Since I'm hard at work, Nathan decided to take care of salad himself. Sweet! I'll continue my posting, as he tries to get attention by singing Lindsay Lohan. Incidentally, I think Lindsay Lohan is the bomb. She's no Olsen, but her cd is fun and queeny.

Nathan's last posting is all about our baby, the iMac, that turned our apartment into a disco inferno for a few minutes on Saturday morning. I've decided not to tell anyone at work about the incident, for fear that it will make them think less of Apple than they already do. I can't stand all these bitches who run around sporting iPods, calling the Apple store "the iPod store," and then hating on Apple computers. (When I asked my tech guys about setting up a vpn in my apartment, they asked me which version of Windows I was running. When they learned the truth, they replied: "Ooh...a MAC?!?" Bitches). Anyway, Nathan took the baby to Digital Society and they made some distant promise about seven business days. In the meantime we'll be watching Twin Peaks and Arrested Development on the 12" Powerbook.

This is not a blog

2005-02-09T16:00:00.000-05:00

I don't like blogs, and I don't read them. I signed up for one because the website is cute, and my man and I decided that it might be a good place to talk shit. We're always saying that we'll start websites and movements against things that piss us off; maybe this is the best way to do it. So, this page will just be about talking shit. Hm, I guess that makes it a blog after all. Such an unattractive word though, blog.